Well, I guess I should start with yesterday's 5 am wake-up call. Mission accomplished, but I was tired as hell yesterday, pretty much all day. Not a good thing. By Fridays I am usually tired of eating the usual - tuna, protein shakes, etc., so sometimes it's hard to resist the temptation to indulge a bit. But, with my Sunday weigh-in/cheat day in the forefront of my mind, I made healthy choices and yielded not to temptation. Yay me! It's amazing to me how much easier it is to make better, healthier choices when you have a goal, whatever it may be. Although for now my goal is to lose 14 pounds by September 1 (around the time that school starts for me), I'm beginning to embrace the idea that this process will take longer. I might get to 150 and not be satisfied, and if not, that's ok. I can continue, with school & work & life, to lose weight and work on my body until it's where I want it to be. I was concerned about clothes, being able to buy one size, and just being able to manage the tedium of weight loss with a full schedule. But I will keep plugging away until I see the body I want in the mirror. It's funny, because I have nearly 3 months before my new schedule starts, but one of my main thoughts is 'when am I going to work out when school starts'. I guess that goes to show one of my priorities.

I am noticing, pretty much every time I work out, that I can do a bit more - lift more weight, do more reps, burn a little less. It's a good feeling. It's also nice to be able to walk into the weight room with all that testosterone and feel confident that I belong back there just like they do.

I got a couple of nice compliments yesterday & today. Someone I hadn't really seen in a while said 'you look great! wow, look at you' (if i wasn't a chocolate baby, i might have blushed). And someone at the gym told me I'm in great shape. I take her comments with a grain of salt, because I think she is often trying to get a compliment herself, but still - I certainly don't think of myself as being in great shape. So it was nice to hear regardless.

Well, tomorrow is d-day. My weight has come down nicely this week, in spite of a little spike that is probably the result of pre-menstrual water weight gain. I see no reason why I shouldn't have lost at least 1 pound this week, so I hope that's what will show up on the scale tomorrow. I am looking forward to my reward of indulgence tomorrow. So much food, so little time! But you know what, I think of all the things I could eat tomorrow, and I don't feel pressed to get them all in. It's just food, it will be there whenever I want it. I have realized that a lot of my cravings are short-lived if I don't indulge them right away. Not bad for the girl who was embarassed when visitors saw the trash bags full of empty orange Sunkist cans. The girl who very rarely, if ever, resisted a craving or turned down a sweet. I have never enjoyed the times when I have exercised no control over my eating habits - it makes me feel ashamed, among other things, which means it's really no fun. No more of that!

Last thing... if you can talk on the phone while on the Arc Trainer, without even breathing hard, you're not working hard enough. Why do people think I got up early (for me) on a Saturday morning to listen to their conversation on a cardio machine? I wish there was a 'no cell phone' rule at my gym. But really, people, let's get focused, shall we?!