One of Them Days

Remember how I was talking about plans yesterday? Well, I had one today, and it fell by the wayside at around 8:00 this morning. I had a doctor's appointment, and got a tetanus shot. Great. Of course, I opened my big mouth and told the person who gave me the shot that I was headed straight to the gym, and she said 'no lifting weights'. NO LIFTING WEIGHTS?! What does she think I go to the gym for? Well, I let it go, actually followed her directions and abstained from the gym. Unfortunately that means I have to get up at 5:00 tomorrow morning to make up for it. I know they say the early bird catches the worm, but at 5 am the only thing I want to catch is ZZZs. Especially since I haven't been sleeping well for the past couple of nights. But, in the name of staying on track, 5:00 it is. That's gonna be fun. Well, the truth of the matter is that my day didn't get a whole lot better, between buying clay for a birthday party, dealing with texts from my boss, shuttling a 9 year old from a dance rehearsal, blah blah blah. But I avoided some of the temptations along the way to my class, and stayed on track to the best of my ability. Thank God for a plan, even when life interrupts. Thanks for the encouragement everybody!

One highlight of my day was stepping on the scale at the doctor's office. I weighed 27 pounds less than what I weighed at my last doctor's appointment in September. Yay! And this morning I hit 165 (again), so I put on my new sneakers! I had to put them back in the box since I didn't even make it to the gym, but that's ok. There's always tomorrow. At 5:00 am. Not to mention Saturday. And Sunday... :)

The Best Laid Plans

Not much time to write tonight - last minute reading to do for tomorrow's stats class. Nothing really remarkable happened today, at least not on the diet front, except that I passed by Rosie's Bakery and barely even noticed. That's about a week of Rosie abstention. I think I deserve a cookie. OK, not a cookie. Maybe just a pat on the back, which I am giving myself right now. Tomorrow is up early (for me), off to the doctor, the gym, class and work. I can hardly contain my excitement. But one thing I have learned in this journey is the importance of being prepared. Which of course requires planning. I spend a good amount of time every night preparing my meals, and when my schedule deviates from normalcy, I literally write down when and what I'm going to eat. I am realizing that there are so many things that can go wrong (Murphy's Law), that if you don't have a plan, you're really screwed. Like I was reading on Rob's blog today, he at least had a lunch he brought to work, so when something else came up, he had a plan. If he didn't, he might have indulged in pizza. And who could blame him? Certainly not me, I love pizza. Especially sausage pizza! Today, I was cooking a meal at work, in the toaster oven, when lo and behold, a fuse blows. So I'm looking at raw meat, knowing that if I didn't eat at that time, my eating schedule for the day would have been all jacked up. So I stayed late at work, ate my burger in the car, and pretty much stayed on track for the day. It's actually been amazing to me how on track I have stayed since my horrible weekend. Of course, it's only been 2 days, but still - I have avoided carbs, and really not even been tempted. I really am trying to do everything in my power to see the scale move this week. I wanna wear my new sneakers! And I want a star on my calendar. :) It's the little things in life...

Day Two

Well, today was Day 2 of my new workout regime, and it was NO JOKE! I had to do single-leg deadlifts, swiss ball push ups, overhead squats, and inverted row. Let's talk about the swiss ball push up. Who's idea was that anyway? The ball wobbles so much I thought I was gonna fall right on my face in the weight room. I could only eke out 6 the first time. By the third set I had worked my way up to 8, but golly! They were so hard. The other stuff was difficult too, and it challenged my balance and made my legs BURN. I was already a bit sore from yesterday, so I'm sure I can expect more soreness tomorrow, which is my day off. Then 25 minutes on the bike finished the job. I stuck to my guns and avoided carbs today, and decided to go ahead and cut my calories. I really want to see my weight come back to where it's supposed to be this week, by any (healthy) means necessary. This week is actually going to be a challenge in terms of working out, because there are a couple of things that I have going on this week during what is my normal workout time. It may mean I have to get up early Saturday morning, which I don't like to do. But I will if I have to! I was talking to someone about exercise, a friend of mine who just finished her first year of grad school. She said she has 30 pounds to lose before graduation next year, and for her exercise is not a priority right now. I understand that, but for me, it will be. First of all, I need to take the rest of this weight off. Secondly, I've worked too hard to take it off to just let it come back on. I realize I may not be able to get to the gym as much as I do now, but I will definitely continue to make it a priority. Of course, doing well in school will be a high priority, because I'm not going into debt for nothing! But life is really about priorities. We make excuses for what we don't do, but the reality is that we find time to do what really matters to us. I guess the tough thing is sometimes accepting the fact that what we say matters really must not, because we don't make it a priority. And sometimes priorities have to be rearranged, and that's not easy either. And the truth of the matter is that if we don't make ourselves, our health and emotional wellbeing a priority, we're no good for the other things in life, like our spouses/significant others, children, jobs, etc. Well, that's enough philosophy for now. Off to bed for me!

Carbs Carbs and More Carbs

I hope that everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. Mine was ok. I went to the christening of my friend's baby, which was fun. She and I have known each other for most of our lives, over 20 years. We recently reconnected after about 3-5 years of disconnection, which I'm very happy about. So her son is like family to me. Actually, even better, cuz I don't even speak to most of my immediate family! He's adorable, and I was glad to be a part of his celebration. As expected, the food was good, so the scale was 'up a little honey' this morning. Also expected. I really indulged, ate pretty much what I wanted to - dessert, soda and wine cooler included. I also went out to eat twice - Friday and Saturday, so my Sunday weigh-in was also 'up a little honey'. Not too bad (.6), but still - can't wear my new sneakers yet! And I was SO tempted earlier - I had them on, laced up and everything, but I took them off. Delayed gratification - woo hoo! Today I had Costa Rican food - plaintains (yum) and rice & beans - can we just say, carb city? I haven't decided what my new nutrition regimen will be. I'm supposed to cycle my carbs/calories - 3 or 4 days of 1600 calories (20% carbs, 50% protein, 30% fat), and 1 day of 2000 calories (50% carbs, 30% protein, 20% fat). My 40/30/30 has been working pretty well, so I don't know if I wanna switch it up. Truth be told, I don't like doing a lot of complicated sh*t. I'm a simple girl. I will have to really do some calculating and figuring out exactly what I can eat ahead of time in order to make that work, and I don't know if I'm willing to do that, because I don't know if it will work for me or not.

I did make it to the gym, which was surprisingly crowded. I started week 9 of afterburn, so I had to do a new set of exercises in a crowded weight room. Not fun. Some new stuff - dynamic lunges (I'm supposed to drive myself off the ground. Right), a barbell military press (behind my back), chin ups, a single-leg, stiff-legged deadlift (can we just say I felt the burn bigtime). It was cool though, it will be nice to see how I progress. I also will be doing weights 4 times/week instead of 3, and doing 25 minutes of cardio instead of 22. I switched to the bike for my cardio, and I lowered my intensity to keep my heart rate in the proper zones. I think before I was pushing myself too hard and not recovering enough, defeating the purpose of this type of cardio training. So we'll see if letting myself slow down to recover will be more beneficial. Love my heart rate monitor! I wonder sometimes what this program is really doing for me, or what I'm doing for it. I need to tally up my measurements and see how much muscle I've really gained. The first month I didn't lose any weight, although my measurements went down. So far in May I only lost about 3 pounds, which is not great, but at this point my expectation is a pound per week. I do see some differences in my body - my arms are smaller, my thighs are definitely smaller, my stomach is smaller. I guess I'm just smaller overall. I can also see definition in my arms and shoulders that wasn't there before, which is nice.

I was watching Celebrity Fit Club last night, and it's funny because Kimberly Locke is taller than me and weighs less than me, but I am smaller than her. I will have to assume that's because I have more muscle than she does, cuz our builds are not too different. Interesting. I am a little scared that I will lose 15 more pounds and still be paunchy and have fat arms. I'm starting grad school in September, so my goal was to be finished losing weight by then so I don't have to worry about that on top of doing well in school. I just don't want to get a new wardrobe now, to have to buy another one in a year. The dough is not rolling like that! I am actually taking a class starting Thursday, which will force me to get up earlier than I normally do on Thursdays, but I better get used to it. Once I start school I know pretty much every day is going to be an early day! Gotta get my mind right, cuz I WILL get good grads and maintain/improve the body I am working hard for. No ifs, ands, buts or maybes.

Good News/Bad News

Well, there's good news & bad news. The good news is that I survived another trip to Rosie's. The bad news is that I had a burger and fries for dinner. Thankfully, the waitress forgot to bring my delicious cornbread, so I avoided that carb pitfall. At least I didn't have a soda too. I'm a little concerned about whether or not any weight that might show up on the scale will affect my Sunday weigh-in, but oh well. Can't undo it. I am allowed 3 cheat meals, so I guess I had one of them tonight. I expect to have another one at a cookout on Sunday. The food is always good at my friend's family cookouts. Truthfully, I've done worse and still lost weight, but it seems like the closer I get to my goal the less wiggle room I have. When I started Weight Watchers I could eat out 2 or 3 times/week and still lose weight! Boo hoo for those days. What am I saying?! Thank God those days are gone! 35 pounds later, I knew that I would have to really buckle down in order to take off the tail end of this weight. I knew I would have to work out harder and eat cleaner, so I shouldn't act surprised. I'm not in too much of a cheery mood, so I'll end there. I will try to be a good girl this weekend. It won't be easy, but as someone else said, it will be worth it when I step on the scale and have lost weight - hopefully enough to wear my new sneakers! Ta ta! Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend.

Well, thank God for my midday post yesterday, because my Internet wasn't working last night, so I couldn't post. Oh no! But I'm back. I have a few things to say. First, let me clarify my breakfast food issue: I am willing to eat breakfast food anytime, but I don't eat non-breakfast food before noon. There's a little hole in the wall that sells a really tasty breakfast, and I won't hesitate to have breakfast for dinner when I'm feeling froggish!
Enough of that - I am very proud of myself, because yesterday I went to Rosie's bakery (the source of much of my cheating), purchased smoothies for my charges, and NOTHING (yup, you read right - nothing) for myself. Not a blondie, or smoothie, or Soho glob (a chocolate cookie with walnuts). But I've realized that sometimes I just eat things because they're available. For example, on Tuesday, during my 3-hour window, I went out of my way to go to Rosie's and get a smoothie before my window closed. But the truth is, I didn't REALLY want it. I just got it because I could have it, and I know that's no good. Today was a workout day too, but I decided to forgo the starchy carbs for the sake of my weigh-in on Sunday. My weight hasn't really recovered from my cheat day on Sunday, so I want to give it all the help I can! A while ago I bought myself some sneakers, and I've been waiting to wear them until I lose 1.4 pounds. I was a bit scared that that I would feel sluggish from not having any significant carbs, but I didn't. And I thought to myself 'I can do this!'. I love pushing myself and realizing that I can do more/better than I thought I could. I know, for some people skipping a carb window is nbd (lol - Marcol), but for the person who loves sweets to miss the small opportunity to have some, it's a bd!
Today was the last day of my jump squat set of exercises. Thank God. There's something about the combo of jump squats and push-presses and good mornings that really hurts my feelings. How about I didn't even want to do my cardio? I actually paused twice on the treadmill. Once to tie my shoelaces, once to complain. I pushed my way through, but I wasn't feelin it today for some reason. That actually makes it sweeter that I did it. I used to be afraid to let myself slow down long enough to not feel like doing something. So I would just go go go. Now I've realized that it's ok to acknowledge that I don't always feel like doing stuff, as long as I do it anyway. And it's actually a sweeter victory then. Cuz it's DEFINITELY hard work. Night Night!

Wow!

So many comments, so little time. Finally, Jaxx hits up my blog. Perhaps the obsessiveness runs in the family? Hmmm... What WOULD the bish think? Who cares? :) Um, a chocolate chip cookie @ 9 am?! Sounds like my kind of co-worker actually. But I have this weird thing about eating 'breakfast' food ONLY before noon. It's kinda crazy perhaps, but I won't even really drink OJ after breakfast time. But I will eat breakfast for lunch or dinner. Does that make sense? Probably not. Oh well.

Kristen, my cardio goes like this: 5 minute warm-up, then 1:00 at high intensity, and 2:00 at moderate intensity. I do that 4 times (5 times starting Sunday - ugh!), and then cooldown for 5:00. It's lots of fun. I've been doing interval cardio for years (my bro put me on to it), but these high intensity intervals kick my ass!

Just for the record, I am boycotting American Idol. I am so disgusted that the best person didn't win, and that it's a popularity contest rather than a talent contest. I mean, I know we are superficial people, and our musical taste is for the most part poor at best... well, then I guess that means I shouldn't be surprised.

This midday blog is right now affording a 3 year old the opportunity to sneak some extra candy in her mouth. Now she wants mini Oreos. Uh, she was going through my pocketbook!! Well, I guess that's a sign that I should go now. Later!

Nothing Much

I'm not sure where I'm going with this today. But first, thanks to my faithful readers/commenters. I appreciate the well-wishes and the compliments. :) Lol to Kristen. Although everyone can't have a gf, anyone can have a weight loss buddy. ;) Or a cyber-weight loss buddy. I think there are even web sites that try to hook up people who are trying to lose weight/exercise together. But I am fortunate that my gf is also my weight loss buddy. She's pretty good at helping me stay on track, and also sharing stuff that she's learned with me. Although I've heard of creatine and BCAAs, the truth of the matter is I probably wouldn't be taking all that stuff without her, and it helps.

Today was a workout day, and it was pretty intense, but good. My 22-minute cardio routine intimidates me every time. But I have to say that when I first started this section of Afterburn 3 weeks ago, I had to pause at least 2 times, and now I don't have to pause at all. Woo hoo! Sunday begins Week 9, and I will switch my cardio machine, and add an extra round of cardio, taking my total cardio time to 25 minutes. That's gonna be a blast. Not. But it is good to know that I can have an effective weight/cardio routine in 90 minutes and see results. I'm starting grad school in September, which is why I want to be finished losing weight, and I definitely want to find a workout regimen that will allow me to maintain my new weight and define my body. Lacy said she wants to see picture of my 6-pack. Let me tell you, if I ever have a six-pack, everybody will see it! I actually want to get my belly button pierced if my stomach gets flat enough. But that is one of those things that only looks good on a flat belly, in my opinion. The tattoo I plan to get is also contingent upon flatness in the abdominal area. Maybe that will motivate me to continue to resist the talking cupcakes and brownies. Brownies and cupcakes and cookies, oh my!

Yay Me!

As hard as it may be to believe, I don't think I have much to say. Of course, I say that now, but watch I have to eat my words. Anyway, I had a pretty good day today. As expected, my weight was up, but not as much as I expected - only 1.4 lbs. Not bad considering how much I ate yesterday! It's interesting, because losing weight last week motivates me to stick to my plan. I have definitely noticed with myself that lack of results can make me lax when it comes to my diet plan, whatever it may be. (And believe me, over the past 8 months, I have followed many a plan!) Well, I was good & on track today, barely even tempted, when out of nowhere, a mere hour after I had eaten, hunger struck. I started rummaging through the cabinets, peering into the depths of the fridge. I even poked around the freezer. But in the cabinet, wrapped up in some plastic wrap, were two homemade brownies. I love brownies. Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I like sweets, with an emphasis on chocolate. I picked them up, inspected them, and put them back! Yes, I actually resisted the temptation to eat homemade brownies. Please, don't hold the applause. I can hear them echo through cyberspace. Thank you, thank you very much. So, that was my big victory for the day.

I'm also excited that I have a couple of new blog friends, Lacy & Kristen. Hi ladies! There are a few things that have been priceless along this journey, which is by no means over. One of them has definitely been having a partner. Although our ups & downs have been different, and our weight loss plans are different, knowing that there is always someone with me in the fight has helped motivate me to keep going. When I don't notice changes in my body, someone else does. Thank God, because I look in the mirror and don't know what's what. Having someone to commiserate (did i spell that right) with, push you, give advice, etc., is SO crucial.

Well, I'm off to get myself together for tomorrow - the gym & some errands & work - an exciting day, I know. But just planning what I'm going to eat and when I'm going to eat it is a project in and of itself. I took my little lunch bag to my grandmother's house, and she called it my satchel. She's cute. So, I'm off to pack my satchel!

I'm So Excited!

For more than one reason:
1) I got my first outside comment. Thanks Kristen! Yay!
2) I lost weight this week! 1.2 lbs to be exact. Yay again!

So, I weighed myself this morning and found that I was down 1.2 pounds for the week, and I was very excited. I had made a quality decision (smile) to um, actually do what I'm supposed to for the week, and I did it, and it worked. I found out I can eat about 2,000 calories and still lose a pound. Sweet! I'm eating a high protein, low carb diet, and doing high-intensity weight lifting 3 days/week and high-intensity cardio 4/week.

Looking forward to my cheating powered me through my workout today. Doing jump squats with 55 pounds on my back, moving straight to a push press and then to a good morning ain't easy. After 3 sets of that with a 90-second rest in between sets, I move to a lunge, lat pulldown, and russian twist. And THEN, 22 minutes of cardio - 5:00 warm-up, 1:00 high-intensity (7.5 mph on the treadmill), 2:00 recovery (5.0), repeat 4 times, and then cooldown. Let me tell you, I was ready for some pizza after that! And it was good (I love Papa Gino's!). Not to mention my orange Sunkist, which was also good. It was worth the wait, so I plan to be a good girl this week too.

Yesterday my GF read me a description of the types of people at the gym. I think she saw it on someone's blog. I forget all the titles, but there are the meatheads, the talkers, the elderly, etc. So while I was at the gym today I was cracking up to myself, watching this group of guys, listening to their MP3 players, bopping their heads, talking loud. Not to mention their tanning booth tans and tattooes and disproportionate upper bodies. But the people that I really don't understand are the ones on their cell phones. I mean, really - did you come to work out or use your daytime minutes? I saw a guy once who was talking in between sets. He would put down the phone, do a short set that was obviously hard, evidenced by his loud grunts, and then pick the phone back up and continue his convo! I was in awe. Whoever was on the line must have been extremely important and very patient.

Now, to answer Kristen's questions:
- After I eat starchy carbs, the scale goes up 1-2 lbs typically, and takes a couple of days to level back out. I read a scientific explanation for that, having to do with the body retaining the glycogen and water or something, but it's not fat. So, if I refrain from carbs on Thursday, it might give me a more accurate reading on Sunday, since my body will have an extra day to level itself out.
- The 3-hour window rule basically is that for 3 hours after a high intensity (90 minute plus) workout, the glycogen (carb stores) in your muscles has been depleted and needs to be refueled. You have 3 hours to do that, and outside of that any starchy carbs you eat can be stored as fat. Plus it is a quick energy source for recovery from your workout. Outside of that window, I eat mainly carbs that come from fruits/veggies - complex carbs.
*Anybody can feel free to chime in on this if my explanation is not up to par. No offense will be taken!

Well, that's all for now. A new week begins!

Cheat Day!

I am very proud of myself. I had a good week this week - I stuck to my plan, only had 1 cheat meal, and recorded my food. Tomorrow is officially the beginning of a new week, in which I will lower my calories, record my weight (loss), and CHEAT! My GF has a refeed tomorrow, and I decided to save the majority of my cheating so we could do it together. The couple that cheats together stays together, I suppose. I am looking forward to eating some good stuff tomorrow, maybe a Thai iced tea, orange Sunkist, some pizza, a fig bar from Trader Joe's. I am actually considering tweaking my plan a bit and refraining from carbs on Thursdays to get a more accurate weigh-in on Sundays. I work out (weights & cardio) on Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday, and I have a 3-hour window in which to have starchy carbs on those days. And believe me, I try to take full advantage of it! So, all my readers will get all the gory details of my glorious cheat day tomorrow. Night!

One of Those Women

I don't want to be one of those women who works out regularly but you can't tell. No muscle tone or definition, no lines or anything. What's the point? I mean, don't get me wrong - I love to work out just to feel good & strong & sweaty & fit. I worked out for years without dieting, just because I like to work out. But no more of that. From this point forward, I want my body to show some serious signs. I may not ever have a 6-pack, and that's ok. Kinda. But I at least want someone to be able to look at me and say to themselves 'oh, she must work out'. That is what I'm talkin about...

Rain Rain Go Away

Today was a yucky day, and the weekend promises to be almost equally yucky. I'm starting to get into this whole blog thing, for better or worse. I did pretty well with my dietary restrictions today. Better than pretty well - I resisted all temptations, including the talking cupcakes. Yep, they were still there!

The scale was up this morning, as is usually the case after I eat carbs (well-earned after my Afterburn workout). I'm hoping that by Sunday morning I will have lost weight, or at the very least maintained my weight. I was playing around with my food log on sparkpeople, trying to figure out what my calorie reduction will look like in real food. Not so bad, I think I can handle it. Well, I know I can, cuz when I started out on this journey, 35 lbs heavier, I was eating 1200 calories. Speaking of the scale, I used to think that my SO and my bro were a bit, shall we say, OCD for weighing themselves daily. Nevertheless, I joined them, since I couldn't beat em, and whaddya know, they say people who weigh themselves daily do a better job keeping their weight off. Glad I joined em!

OK, don't laugh, but today, after months of thinking that a 10K was 8 miles, I did a little thinking and realized that (drumroll please) it's only 6.2 miles. OK, I knew that a 5K was 3.1, why didn't I do what I learned over 20 years ago and multiply times two? Who the hell knows. Regardless, I am trying to do Afterburn until the 16 weeks are up, which is late July, and after Afterburn I planned to train to run a 10K in October. 6 miles is more feasible than 8 in 2 1/2 months, so that revelation pleased me.

If anybody gives a damn, my chest is sore from my 60 lb bench press. Feels good though - call me crazy, but I like being sore. Well, I think that's enough rambling for now. Sunday I'm gonna post my weight (woo hoo!) and start using this blog to keep you updated on the exciting numbers along this journey. Until then...

Mirror, Mirror

So, today while I was at the gym, I complimented an (overweight) employee on her new haircut. But here's the weird thing - I can't picture what her hair looked like before! The same thing happened to me last week when I saw a woman I have seen weekly for at least a month. She cut her hair, and although I knew her new haircut was more becoming, I couldn't for the life of me remember what her hair looked like before! And herein lies the problem with losing weight. One of the many problems. You get used to yourself and don't remember what you looked like before. Without measurements, pictures, and my handy Weight Watchers booklet, I would think I imagined myself 35 lbs heavier. I don't really remember what I looked like before, and that can be discouraging. The mind is an interesting thing, isn't it? I need to remember the success I've had. My friend told me I should wake up every morning and tell myself that I'm the bomb because I lost 28 lbs, at the time. Maybe she's right...

I love lifting weights, and I was happy that the main weight room at the gym was virtually empty today. I used the Smith machine to bench press 60 lbs, and it was easier than it was last week. Maybe the creatine and BCAAs are helping. I hope so, because I really like feeling strong. Maybe pressing 60 lbs is nothing to someone else, but for me it feels good, and I look forward to being stronger. People magazine has a story about women who lost 100 lbs, and one woman runs 5-10 miles 3 times a week. I wanna do that. One of these days. I'm trying to run a 10k in October, we'll see how that goes. I'll keep you posted! Ha ha...

Talking Cupcakes

So, I've made it clear that I'm on a quest to lose body fat. But I have hit a few snags recently, most of them having to do with my sweet tooth. OK, all of them. Shame on me. So, I decided I would make a few changes this week:
1) I'm allowed 4 cheat meals/week - I will stick to that
2) I will record my food every day in sparkpeople
3) I will only eat carbs (except cheats) within the 3 hour workout window that my diet prescribes.
It's only Wednesday, I've already had 1 cheat meal, but otherwise I've done ok. My weight was up 2 lbs today, but it should be back down tomorrow. If not, you will hear about it! Of course, I walk into work today and see a gigantic baggie full of Funfetti cupcakes. Um, I love Funfetti. They called my name all day, and I ignored the call. Once, I picked up the bag and eyed them lovingly, but I resisted. I resisted the Dunkin Donuts that I passed by today. So far, I am very proud of myself - I have resisted temptation. Yay me!

A New Experience

So, don't laugh (my brother already did), but today, after lifting weights for about 10 years, I used the squat rack for the first time. Sad, but true. I just used a barbell for my squats, which meant that I needed help lifting the weight, until someone shed light on that contraption that I saw everybody else using. So today, I used it. It will take some getting used to, because the bar is SO long. I kinda felt like I was crooked, since I was doing jump squats. On my good mornings I felt like I couldn't straighten up with the bar on my back, but I'm hoping it will just take some getting used to. But it definitely made it easier for me, and I could load more weight, obviously. So, today was a milestone in my fitness journey.

I started taking creatine last week, and so far I haven't lost any weight, but I have maintained and I do feel stronger, which is a good feeling. This whole weight loss thing is weird. I've lost 35 pounds, but sometimes I still look in the mirror and wonder 'did I really lose weight?' Even when I put on old clothes that hang on me, or wear clothes that used to be too tight and now fit, I still wonder. The truth is, I'm now at a weight where I stayed for at least a couple of years and was satisfied. Now, I'm totally dissatisfied. I don't even really admire my progress anymore, I just think about how much time it's gonna take me to lose my last 15-20 lbs, what size will I be and what will I look like when I get there.

I realized that losing the weight I have lost was a self-esteem builder, which is great. Before September, I had never made a decision to lose weight and actually seen it through. I've wanted to lose 20 lbs for as long as I can remember, but I never had any deliberate, sustained weight loss until now, and it's a great feeling - when I feel it. Anyway, that's all for now.

Introducing Me

This is a new experience for me, in more ways than one. I have no idea who will be reading this, and I am not one for spending a lot of time reading other people's blogs. Who knows, maybe that will change. Anyway, I guess I should explain why I am doing this, where I am and where I'm going. Since September, I have lost about 35 lbs. I have struggled with my weight since I was about 10. I was never athletic, but when I was 18 I started working out, and fell in love with lifting weights. I even like cardio! I have done lots of different things, from step class to rock climbing to Tae Bo to boxing, and I like to have a varied workout routine. I love the feeling of improving, challenging and pushing myself. I'm not competitive, I just like to compete against myself. Anyway, back to my weight. I went through a VERY tough time in my life, and I sought comfort in orange SUnkist and sweets, basically eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Fast food was pretty much my daily dinner. I worked out only sporadically, and I worked overnight on top of that. So, by the time it was all said and done, I had gained about 40 pounds. Yikes! So I joined Weight Watchers, and slowly but surely started to take the weight off. Truth be told, with all due respect to Weight Watchers, I only followed their Points system for a few months, if that. I switched to a plain old calorie counting system, using Sparkpeople.com, and not too long ago I started using a Zone-type/Metabolism Advantage diet. I am also on Week 7 of Afterburn. I haven't strictly followed the nutrition regimen that they prescribe, but I plan to switch over to it at Week 9. I have definitely seen some changes in my body, a little weight loss, and definitely some inches lost, although not as much as I would like. I am starting grad school in the fall, and want to get to my goal of 10% BF by the end of August. So.... the journey continues.